Santa Isn’t Real

Tempest Rose 28 Comments

Soon Santa will be coming and bringing all the little children presents (let’s face it, even the bad kids get presents — the only kids who don’t are poor or don’t celebrate Christmas).

There will be trees and wrapping paper and tinsel and candy canes and gingerbread houses. A plate will be left out with cookies and milk and all will be wonderful and when the children wake up, one cookie will have one bite taken out of it to show Santa was there.

The unwrapping will commence and a mythical creature will get all the credit for your hard work.

Nope. I don’t think so. Not in my home.

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You see, I am not filling my child’s head with lies. There is no Santa in my own. I am motherfucking Santa — Momma Santa come to shower you with shit you don’t need. And you better believe I am eating all of those cookies and drinking all of that milk. Waste not, I always say.

Honestly, I don’t really care either way if you choose to tell your children Santa is real or not. But be informed that my kid might very well be the one to break the bad news and send your child home crying one day after school. Sorry in advance about that.

I just don’t like the whole idea. We pound trust, truth into our children’s heads from the moment they are old enough to understand, but before that we tell them stories about Santa and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy and all the wonderful fake magical people who come and bring treats and presents and money, and why? Why do we do this? To instill imagination and a sense of wonder?

Yeah, my kid has that already, thankyouverymuch.

The other thing is that we’re not religious. There’s no Virgin Mary or Sweet Baby Jesus in our home around Christmas — we simply celebrate it for the shallow notion of the holiday season and the presents. Which is quite alright with us, also thankyouverymuch.

So what does Santa have to do with any of this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just like there is no special creature on birthdays, we celebrate Christmas because we love each other. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. We enjoy the colors and smell and feel of the holidays and we enjoy getting and giving new stuff and we enjoy our family, so we celebrate. Let me say that again: We enjoy our family, so we celebrate. Santa is not a part of our family.

Lying is not a part of our family, either. Now, I’m not going to scar my child for life or anything. If he chooses to believe, so be it. But I am not going to tell him Santa is real.

For example, Nixon (Nate’s oldest) asked us all the time if the Tooth Fairy and Santa were real. We told her no every single time. But, she wanted to believe so she believed. We didn’t yell at her. We didn’t pound it into her head that she was wrong. We just didn’t indulge her beliefs. And guess what? She’s fine.

I refuse to have this happen to me:

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28 thoughts on “Santa Isn’t Real”

  2. Totally agree!
    We had the whole lot of them growing up and my parents even told me our pet cat was a stray that we rescued. They bought her from a neighbour. I believed that for 13 years until my mum casually mentioned it in passing. WTF. Seriously still scarred from it. And it was over 10 years ago!

    How can you expect your children not to be liars when you’re lying to their face? I don’t lie and I won’t be lying to my kids. Glad to see I’m not the only one who thought this! Xo

    Ps. Whoever thought up the tooth fairy swapping money for a tooth (in a cup of water no less) is seriously messed up..

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  3. OMG, I love your blog … I thought I was the only one … my kids are 29 and 30, and are doing just fine … no credit going to Santa, Easter Bunny, and Baby Jesus … thank you … Love, cat.

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  4. I have mixed feelings about this one, honestly. I’m not sure which way to feel. The twins believed in Santa until they were about 10. I never made a big fuss about the Tooth Fairy or Easter Bunny. When they found out Santa wasn’t real I was relieved.

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  5. I never enforced the whole santa thing either. They naturally questioned it early on and I said it was a lovely myth and told them how the story began and why and left it at that. Now we joke about “santa” but no one is under any delusions. Honesty is better – plus then they think Santa can throw down with something ridiculous like a pony but they know “mommy santa” is NOT getting you a damn pony – No way, No how.

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  6. Thank you, THANK you, THANK YOU! My parents never allowed us to think for one minute that santa clause is real (with the exception of St. Nick a long, long time ago).

    You know what we missed out on? Nothing except the heartbreak of knowing your parents lied to you. So glad to see that someone else agrees with not lying to their kids :D

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  8. Yep, I agree with this, too. I’ve always told my kids that Santa is a lovely story and given them the history and all that — it’s fun but not real. Nothing drives me crazier than parents who hold Santa over their kids head and tell them that if they’re “bad” (and don’t even get me started on that) he won’t bring them any presents. My parents did that which gave me loads of unnecessary anxiety and totally undermined their wonky discipline tactics when I woke up on Christmas morning to find that Santa had come — and let’s face it, I was not the best behaved child. My partner thinks I’m crazy and that I’m robbing them of a fun tradition. It’s an area of contention in our household, for sure. I think you can have fun and have traditions without teaching kids to believe in things that are not real and then be disappointed when they learn the truth AND that their parents, who tell them to be truthful, have been lying to them for years.

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  11. “be informed that my kid might very well be the one to break the bad news and send your child home crying one day after school.” That is just too funny.
    Good thing the kids I work with don’t believe in Santa

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  14. Omigosh! So Son is kinda like Nixon and insistent on believing in Santa no matter what we say.. Daughter was a different story.. :-D

    When she was pre-K and wondering about Santa I agonized over how to answer her. Single mom, first kid, anxiety issues (me not her) anyways, it was a big deal for me.. I didn’t want to destroy her childlike sense of wonder but I also didn’t feel comfortable lying to her.. so I carefully sought out a children’s storybook that detailed the life of the real Saint Nicholas and we read it together. Real cuddly mommy/ daughter moment and she knows the truth about the real man behind the legend and traditions, right? Super parenting moment for me, right?

    Well, about a week later I was over at a new friend’s house having coffee.. I brought Daughter with me. Linda knelt down and smiled into Daughter’s face and asked,” Are you excited for Christmas? What are you gonna ask Santa for?”

    Daughter rolled her 5 year old eyes and said, “Santa Claus is dead! My mommy buys my presents for me!”

    Linda was horrified in her family Santa is a much beloved tradition and she had been carefully reinforcing belief in him with her little ones.
    So… my parenting moment that I was super proud of very quickly led to another teachable moment wherein we had the discussion of respecting OTHER families’ traditions and how we would NOT be spilling the beans to Linda’s 3 year and 18 month old.

    Needless anxiety over and over again.. Daughter turned out great,Son is turning out greay and Linda and I are still friends to this day. :-)

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